Growing 28, September 1999
A Balancing Act

Featured Writer: R. Cotton Fite, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist

If you are even moderately involved in modern American society you must learn to perform a delicate balancing act to maintain your personal equilibrium. On the success of that balancing act hangs a good deal of your mental, emotional, relational and spiritual health, and at least some of your physical health as well. And it's become a lot harder to stay upright in recent years.

There are whole volumes devoted to analyzing the change we are all experiencing. But several things are certain. Driven by a virtual explosion in information technologies, the rate of change has accelerated dramatically, and most of us are struggling just to keep up. Dramatic discoveries in almost every field of human knowledge are changing “the way things are.” It’s exciting, but it’s destabilizing and just a little scary at times.

Just as the rate of change has accelerated, so has the pace of our lives. Americans are working longer hours, with more to do and with less security that their jobs will be there tomorrow. The cell phone, electronic mail, pagers, the internet and the fax are revolutionizing the way we communicate with each other. And most of us are enjoying the ride. But do we really want to be available for a call anytime, anywhere? Will I have time to digest the document I just received by fax before I am asked to respond—intelligently? An anecdote out of Africa recounted by Quaker philosopher, Douglas Steere, tells the story. During the last century a caravan of traders had been pushing their porters hard. Eventually, the porters stopped, and no cajoling by the traders could get them up and moving. The Africans explained, “We have been traveling so long and so fast that we need to wait for our souls to catch up with our bodies.” At the pace we are moving in this society, it feels a little like jet lag at times, but without the air travel. Our souls need time to catch up with our technological selves.

So what’s the answer? How do we keep our balance?

I obviously don’t know the answer because I’m wobbly much of the time myself. But I do have some clues and, happily, they’re not very complicated. In fact, we’ve heard them all before. They’re just monumentally difficult to implement.

In the New Testament (John’s Gospel), we are encouraged to be in but not of the world. For Christians that means remembering their primary identity as children of God. For all of us it means retaining a certain detachment from the world; of taking it seriously, but not too seriously. It means remembering we are not defined by the world’s standards of wealth and status and technological savvy. It means being rooted somewhere, in a community of faith with people who love us.

There are any number of manuals out there which, for a price, will help you order your life; and some of them are very good. Here’s a short list of very practical things you can do to help maintain your balance, to be in but not of the world.

Determine your values
Trying to maintain your balance without knowing where your feet are or what there is to hold onto is nearly impossible. You can get a start by asking yourself the questions, “What really matters to me?” “What’s lasting and what really makes a difference in the quality of my life?” “What and whom do I trust?” Answers to these questions aren’t as obvious as they may seem, and they won’t come quickly. Take your time; let them surprise you.

Establish your priorities
Based on what really matters to you, begin making choices. For now I have decided not to walk around with a cell phone on my hip. Instant communication is something that sorely tempts me; I like to be in touch. But I’m afraid I would not turn it off, and I love uninterrupted time, time in which I ruminate, daydream, wonder about things. More than anything else, this technological society challenges us to make choices, choices about what to do and what not to do. Without a clear grasp of our values and priorities, we become victims of the innovation-of-the-moment. And it may or may not enhance our lives.

Identify the obstacles
This is a crucial step. No one is living their values and priorities all the time. Life is made up of an infinite number of compromises. But we need to know when we have abandoned our principles, when we are in serious danger of losing our balance. The symptoms will usually tell us. We feel “out of sorts,” irritable, anxious and/or depressed. Our bodies are tense. These are all signals that tell us to reassess. What we usually find is that we’re living by values which have seduced us into thinking they’re more important than our own. It’s time to regain our balance.

Practice Sabbathing
From Jewish tradition comes the most valuable lesson of all. God is said to have created the world in six days and, on the seventh, to have rested. The Hebrew word for God’s resting used in the fourth commandment literally means "to catch one’s breath". The primary value of practicing sabbath is in appreciating the sacredness of the world and its creator. We catch our breath and restore our perspective. But Jewish law makes good practical sense as well. Our neuro-physiological systems are built with basic rest-activity cycles, little sabbaths if you will, every 90 to 120 minutes, operating day and night. Sabbath is literally a part of creation; and regular rest is essential for good health and optimal creativity. Find your own way of observing a sabbath and make it a habit. It’s a good way to keep your balance.

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