August 2004
Singing in the Treetop
Featured Writer: Gregg Dana, M.Div., M.A.

A wonderfully red cardinal is perched on the top branch singing his song, proclaiming his romantic interest to the female cardinals in the nature preserve. He is strong and healthy, having survived the rigors of winter. He is handsome and full of birdy libido. He is brave, not afraid to be seen and heard by every creature in the woods. His business for the morning is pure self-promotion, proclaiming at the top of his lungs what a wonderful cardinal he is.

I noticed this cardinal because his song was a welcome sign of spring. But it also struck me that I can hardly imagine myself doing what he was doing, a human version of singing from a treetop perch. I am generally a quiet person. I don't recall the last time when I used my voice "at the top of my lungs." I don't seek the spotlight of leadership or stardom. I believe that I would never make self-promotion my primary agenda, and, truth be told, I disapprove of people who do. My family, my Presbyterian faith tradition, and my midwestern farm heritage taught me to value modesty, orderliness, humility, and the whole list of quieter virtues. I was taught to avoid and disapprove of pride, brazenness, pushiness, noisiness, etc.

The "shadow" as a part of human personality is one of the core ideas of the psychological theory developed by Carl Jung. This term refers to an unconscious area of our psyche that contains all the parts of ourselves that we deny we have. We disapprove of some qualities we see in other people, so we don't want to admit that we have those qualities too. We put them out of sight in our "shadow." Our "shadow" includes thoughts, feelings, needs, actions, personal qualities, and attitudes, virtually anything about ourselves that makes us uncomfortable.

The "shadow" helps us by supporting our self-esteem that we don't suffer from the flaws and weaknesses of other people. We do not like to acknowledge that we possess the full range of human capacities, both positive and negative. We have it within ourselves to be good or bad, to be strong or weak, to be rational or irrational, to be leaders or followers, to be social or solitary, etc. Our conscious self-concept, then, is a collection of the ideas about ourselves we acknowledge. From all of our human capacities and qualities, we build our self-concept from those that fit with our life experience, including our strengths, the minor faults we admit, our preferences, our habits, all the parts of ourselves of which we are aware. The unconscious "shadow" is made up of all the rest of us.

An interpreter of this Jungian concept put it this way, "When an individual makes an attempt to see his shadow, he becomes aware of (and often ashamed of) those qualities and impulses he denies in himself but can plainly see in other people — such things as egotism, mental laziness, and sloppiness; unreal fantasies, schemes, and plots; carelessness and cowardice; inordinate love of money and possessions — in short, all the little sins about which he might previously have told himself: `That doesn't matter; nobody will notice it, and in any case other people do it too.'" (Man and his Symbols, by Carl G. Jung, Doubleday & Company, 1964, p.168)

We grow psychologically when we increase our ability to tell the truth about ourselves. We abandon false modesty and claim our gifts. We give up pretending about our failings, so we no longer need to expend energy on denying them. When we integrate all the elements of our character into a balanced, whole self, we become stronger, healthier people. So it is a growthful thing to shine the light on the "shadow" part of ourselves, see what we have previously hidden from ourselves, and deal with who we really are. I have thought of three examples of this kind of opportunity for growth in my life. You can certainly find opportunities for growth too.

I have a voice that is capable of yelling as well as speaking softly. I have what it takes to be one of the loud, boisterous fans at a ballgame, but my typical reaction, even to a game-winning homerun, is to sit and cheer quietly. If I think of the people around me who are jumping and yelling as obnoxious, I am failing to grow. I wonder, "What does it feel like to jump around and yell at a ballgame?"

I have never been the star of a show, a champion, or blue-ribbon winner, but it's because I have never tried. If I have prize-winning skills, I have avoided opportunities to use them. When I have been recognized for something excellent I did, I could not truly enjoy the experience because I did not want to feel prideful or superior to others. Hiding in my "shadow" my ability to acknowledge and enjoy my best skills has obviously cost me a lot of nice experiences. I wonder, "How would it be to stand in a spotlight, bow to an applauding crowd, and receive a top prize?"

My practice as a therapist would probably do better if I were more comfortable in proudly advertising my skills. I attend professional conferences at which keynoters give speeches and leaders provide seminars, showing no hesitancy to "strut their stuff." It feels right to me to be more modest. My professional insecurities make me want to avoid being so exposed to criticism. I wonder, "Can I find in my "shadow" some cockiness, some appropriate arrogance and use it to improve my professional life?"

Acknowledging the "shadow" and working to integrate it into our conscious psyche makes us stronger, more capable people. That growth process also helps us relate to people who are different from us in a more understanding and compassionate way. When we respond with criticism to people because they have qualities we have hidden in our "shadow," we cannot be close to them and enjoy mutual differences. Prejudice is labeling and condemning people we don't know because they possess qualities that make us uncomfortable. I suppose that I could be prejudiced against this cardinal, finding fault because he is red, which I am not, because he eats insects, which disgusts me, or because he can fly and I can't. In this fanciful example, my negative qualities hidden in my "shadow" would be showing themselves in an unhealthy way.

I thank the cardinal for his song. It challenged me to envision myself "singing from the treetop," proclaiming what a wonderful, strong, attractive, brave person I am. That will not be easy, because it runs against ideas and feelings deeply rooted within me. But if I have put all the noisy, proud, self-promoting parts of myself out of sight in my "shadow," it is time to turn the light on them, tell the truth about all that I am and can be, and work on some psychological growth for myself.

Featured Writer:
Gregg Dana, M.Div., M.A. has been on the staff of the Counseling Center since 1995. He is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and an ordained Presbyterian pastor.

Gregg applies his training and experience in family systems theory and brief, strategic, family therapy with people who have identified specific concerns or issues and are eager to discover new ways to understand and solve their problems—especially couples experiencing marital difficulties or families with challenging teenagers.

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