November 2003
Sue's Healing
Featured Writer: Gregg Dana, M.Div., M.A.

This summer my wife's sister Sue fell and broke her ankle very seriously while on vacation visiting my mother-in-law. Our visit to Maine overlapped Sue's time there, so we arrived just days after the accident. We visited her in the hospital after her first surgery and helped care for her when she came home to the cottage. After a week of convalescence, Sue had a second reconstructive surgery involving more plates and screws than I like to think about. Now several months later she is still on crutches.

Sue is a healthy, resiliant woman who has met the challenge of this injury with courage and vitality. She has been supported by the love of a close family. She has steady foundations of faith. Skilled doctors and nurses have done their best. Even so, her healing process has been very difficult. I have discovered three things about the process of healing from thinking about what Sue has endured. I believe my learnings are valid whether an injury is physical, like Sue's broken ankle, or psychological, like the injuries that our clients here at The Counseling Center have suffered.

I. We are so interconnected within our body, mind, and spirit that our entire being is affected by an injury that affects only one particular area. Most of Sue's body was undamaged by her accident, but her broken ankle caused distress to the top of her head and the tips of her fingers. Even with strong medications, pain made her whole body uncomfortable.

Every part of her body suffered with the injury to her ankle, but every cell was also providing the energy to cope and to muster her healing power. Resources of mental, emotional, and physical strength were drawn from her whole self, so that she felt deeply tired after a day of doing nothing but lying on the couch with her foot elevated. Now Sue's life has returned to "normal," but she says that she tires quickly because the energies of her entire self are being used in her continued healing.

People who are psychologically wounded have a similar experience. Their pain comes from one part of their life, perhaps a relationship that has gone wrong, a deeply wounding experience, or failures or poor judgments and the consequences that followed. The painful issue affects all of their life, so that other roles deteriorate, more negative things happen, and poor judgments or mistakes are repeated.

In the process of psychological healing, the energy to cope and grow is drawn from the uninjured parts of our lives, which may be our body, our family, our work, our faith, our friendships, the natural world around us, etc. I therefore encourage my clients to identify the parts of their life that are still going well, invest time and energy in those opportunities for success, and remember to be grateful for every positive, pleasant moment.

II. Sue's healing process is moving along at its own pace, which is not fast enough for her or for anyone who loves her. She follows the doctor's orders, eats well, gets enough rest, thinks hopeful thoughts, and fills her days with meaningful activity. She is a good patient, but months have passed, and she is not yet fully healed.

Healing, like most natural processes, cannot be rushed. As much as we want pain to end now or healing to occur immediately, that is not the way it happens. Sue's broken tissues are restored one cell at a time. Her strength is regained slowly with therapies and exercise. Her internal healing process will continue long after the cast comes off.

The healing process for psychological wounds is similar. We are fortunate to live in a time when psychiatric medications and proven techniques of psychotherapy can be very effective. Treatment advances may lead us to hope for quick cures. But even when immediate steps toward comfort and health can be found, the process of psychological healing cannot be rushed.

Often what I do in treatment is to help clients discover the new ways of thinking and living that they will eventually build into habits or lifestyles. Habits become solid after many repetitions. Our lifestyle can change as we routinely make the choice of a healthy behavior to replace an unhealthy one. Treatment may end after a strong start of those new ways of living, but the process of healing continues for a long time.

III. When the day comes that Sue's healing is declared to be complete, along with the celebration will come the sobering realization that her life will never be the same because of her injury. At best, she will never again take her ankle for granted, and going through airport security will be complicated. She may never climb another ladder.

At worst, Sue's injury will result in permanent losses. Climbing the mountain trails of Maine with her children and someday with grandchildren may not be possible. She may hurt when she does anything that requires long standing or walking. She may face further treatment as she gets older.

Sue is a resiliant woman who can deal with losses and make the best of her limitations. But for Counseling Center clients whose injuries are emotional, it can seem overwhelming to realize that changes and losses may be permanent. Treatment at The Counseling Center always results from painful experiences, so part of our job as therapists is to help our clients grieve their losses and rediscover hope for their future.

Grief is a healthy way of adjusting to loss that leads to the day when we accept our new, changed reality. As therapists we understand grief, and we have all experienced loss in various ways. We know, from training and from personal experience, that psychological health can be regained, emotional strength can be rebuilt, and life's balance and happiness can be restored. It is that conviction that makes it possible for us to accompany people in helpful ways on their journey toward healing.

Featured Writer:
Gregg Dana, M.Div., M.A. has been on the staff of the Counseling Center since 1995. He is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and an ordained Presbyterian pastor.

Gregg applies his training and experience in family systems theory and brief, strategic, family therapy with people who have identified specific concerns or issues and are eager to discover new ways to understand and solve their problems—especially couples experiencing marital difficulties or families with challenging teenagers.

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