Sexuality

The "heart" symbol has long represented our emotions of love. Phrases like "I love you with all my heart" only illustrate more clearly the connection that has been made between our hearts and our emotions. So it naturally follows that the patient experiencing cardiac procedures, suffering a heart attack (myocardial infarction), or having heart surgery commonly thinks of this association. These thoughts are often fears... fears not only of physical changes brought about, like a surgical scar, but unspoken fears about emotional changes. Fear of how they will feel about themselves, and how others, especially their mate, will feel about them. The fear may be just fleeting or may linger on. Time and honest communication are two key elements in the recovery period.

Time is necessary to recover, we all know, but time is also needed to rebuild confidence that everything will be okay. Time is needed to see that our physical strength is returning, our bodies are repairing themselves, and our hearts have not lost the emotions that drive our lives. Step by step, the cardiac patient and spouse need to talk about their feelings. They need to express concerns, fears and questions with each other, sometimes finding solutions, and sometimes finding comfort in sharing. Often the spouse feels protective and doesn't want the patient to have "more worries" so they keep their thoughts to themselves. Little do they realize that the cardiac patient knows this and worries about the spouse! Communication is very important.

Communication can create or maintain our bonds, even when we cannot be physically together. Remember that love is not sex. Keep in touch with each other in other ways such as hugs, kisses, and holding hands.

While in the hospital, the patient is often started on an exercise program. Exercise helps recovery by strengthening the body again. Exercise also helps to "kick the blues". Stick with the exercise plan that is prescribed for you. Do not use the stairs as part of your exercise routine, but you may climb the stairs slowly the first few days home.

Once you are able to climb a flight of stairs (12-13 stairs) without shortness of breath, it is usually okay to resume sexual activity. Timing will vary from person to person as to when you will be ready to resume sexual activity and will also depend upon communication as a couple. Plan a time when neither of you are angry, stressed, or tired, and when you're more likely to feel good about it. Avoid sexual activity after a heavy meal, just as you would avoid exercise. Avoid alcoholic beverages as they may interfere with your medications. Beware of excessively hot or cold baths, showers, saunas, and whirlpools as they have an affect on your blood vessels.

Foreplay will also help to increase the blood pressure and heart rate more slowly. Do not cause yourself undo stress by trying new positions, but do try to avoid having the cardiac spouse support their body weight on their arms, especially after heart surgery.

Remember, sex is not dangerous to heart patients and heart disease does not cause decreased sex drive or impaired sexual function. You and your spouse can resume your normal sexual relationships over time...BE PATIENT AND COMMUNICATE!

One More Note about Medications
Your doctor may have prescribed for you a beta blocker or nitroglycerin to be used before sexual activity to prevent chest pain (angina). These drugs are also used for patients who have chest pain with other activities. Should chest pain occur during sexual activity, use the nitroglycerin as prescribed, rest for a while, and then resume your activity. If the pain persists or reoccurs during sexual activity, you should inform your doctor.

Some medications, such as tranquilizers, antidepressants, and high blood pressure pills can reduce sex drive and function. Talk with your doctor should this occur. Many times a change of prescription is all that is needed. Never stop the medication without the doctor knowing.